Trust..... it IS what is takes to be a midwife.

Women must find within themselves the ability to trust what they and their body and baby know to give birth. For some this is easier than others. For some it comes as a huge milestone of life and when they get there, it is an amazing triumph with tears of accomplishment. Sometimes even we as midwives cry for the gratitude that we were there to support and hold space for this woman to learn the trust within her.

We as midwives must trust too. To trust means to know what is the safe parameters and to support the process of a woman so far as she and the baby are safe. This is why you learn to know how to assess what is safe and what is not. When to help a woman move forward and when she is moving forward all on her own.

Patience is important in being a midwife and so is wisdom to know when too much patience may lead to an out come less favorable. Patience can bring a baby down into the pelvis and wisdom can ensure it comes down safely. Women need help to be patient and persistant sometimes. You are the wise woman that reminds her of the path she has choosen to go on especially when she is deviating from that and is looking to you to guide her back. Patience is also the wise woman who waits and does not intervine when the mother is on her path and it is working and you must just wait. The baby will come.

I want to impart to you the ability to make wise decisions when to wait, when to be patient and when to give guidance to a woman who needs it. Listen to her, listen to your wisdom, listen to what you have learned and make a good call. When you do, the baby will come, mom will feel empowered and there will be positive outcomes.

Timing is Everything

I have wondered how a midwife decides to start becoming one. I know for me it was because someone invited me to a birth at home. For many I think it is when they have a baby at home. Because this is such an empowering experience they desire to tell the world because it has changed their life. Many woman will go to classes and learn and especially be passionate at telling others about this option. Some have had both hospital and home births and want other women to understand the difference and why they must choose home.

But every woman has her own path to follow, her own journey to walk. Like birth, know one can carry her there. She must walk this on her own two feet. There she will have supporters that will guide her to keep her on the path which leads to the best experience, she must trust that path that will lead her to the goal, serving women who also choose to walk on their own two feet to their babies.

Some women want to stand on a box and put down the medical establishment by validating that they do things that cause problems. But the work of a midwife is to support women in learning about their own power and bodies and to support them to keep them healthy and well. A midwife is there to walk along side a woman to keep safety and hold space for trust in birth and her baby. We are not midwives because our work is to put down the medical establishment. That is not only a waste of time and energy but energy goes where attention flows. We as midwives and students must focus our energies toward the goals. Building the maternity care which supports normal healthy women and babies in having optimum outcomes.

A cute picture

 We get to spend time with women who are totally in there power and then see the most beautiful sites in the world. A small little newborn. Then we acctualy get to remember that we were there to welcome them when they made there first cry, their first look into their moms eyes. We get to celebrate the beginning of life and the miraculous experience that this is. Yes we get tired, yes our family has to sacrafice for us to do this work, yes we never know what kind of chocolate this birth will be like, yet we trust, we love and we give our love no mater what.

 Women must trust themselves and their baby. They must trust their midwives. They learn to trust nature.  They learn to mother and trust their mothering.

Thank you women and babies for allowing us each to learn, grow, understand and trust life as it begins. You a students are on this journey to KNOW that birth is trust worth and expect it to be. You are on this journey to learn how to know when to support, when to help and when to stay out of the way. You must learn to recognize when to stay home and when not to. Learning to trust brings everyone into their truth at a birth. When you prepare them ahead of time that this is their work, they can accept their work, own it and walk with it. It is only them that can do it, not you.

Sometimes the baby is trying to tell you something

So it is a head postiton and a taught bag. The cervix sometimes can only do so much without the help of the baby. When the cervix is 6-7 cm for a week then you get lots of contractions and the water bag is taught and the dilation is going no where...... maybe it's time to break the bag. Swooosh and out the baby comes in 20 mins. A wise midwife once said " the waters gotta break sometime". The most important thing is to know the right time to do that so that the baby comes and all is well. As students you will learn when the right time is and yes you will have times when you are not sure. Remember this, if the cervix is dialated to 6-7 and the mom is contracting so that the bag gets a bubble of taught and there is no progress, consider it. If you transport because of a "lack of progress" the first thing they are going to do when you get there is break the bag and have the baby. Baby must be head down and at a -1 to 0 station too. Then swoosh the baby is out. Be smart, review what you have at hand and then be a midwife and get the baby born.
Oh an on a more humorous note... I really like the hard black tubs we use. Then are sturdy and rarely spring a leak. Yes they have had a leak of two but the blow up tubs are just asking to have a hole. The tub we used got three holes before we ever even birthed in it. Off to the store at midnight to find patch kits which ended up being a metal water proof tape because we couldn't find any. Now mind you the company will send another tub but that is not something a baby is willing to be patient for.

Wisdom of nature or patience is a key

I pass along the wisdom of nature that like turtles who grow in their shells and must hatch themselves, so must most human babies. As I am awaiting the birth of yet another " grandbaby or niece" I am reminded by the wisdom of her knowing that time is important to allow all good to come about at her birth. I believe that we also have an agenda to bring to the table and life must dictate some of it.

To induce or not to induce is a question. Unless a woman is overdue or her blood pressure is questionable  by midwifery standards,  why then would be induce a woman. Is 280 days the perfect day for every human baby to be born? No! The clock is an illusion and the timing is dependant on many factors. First that so as a woman lives so shall she give birth. Who is she and how does she do things in life. Second, what is the moon up to? It does play a part as does some cosmic door that opens and lets people in and out. Third, what are the emotional drives that move a woman to her path? Every woman is different. The path to ten centimeters is different for every woman and every baby. No two are alike. The only thing we know is that they do.

The baby oh yea the baby

Having taken the Neonatal Resusitaion Class yet again I am reminded of the need to take a pause. Karen is such a good teacher to all of us as homebirth midwives and she really reminds us to remember the baby and the need that both baby and mother have to take a pause in life.
As I have seen post partum moms, you students included, I have watched that moment of birth and the need to integrate what just happened. The baby who is adjusting to outside life is also taking a moment to gather up it's senses to integrate with the world. Together a mother and baby find there way to looking into each other eyes and to tell each other that their journey has been a powerful one. The baby has a story to tell of i't journey through the mothers body and into their arms. What then is our role as midwives at this amazing jucture of life?

We must also pause. Yes we are to be sure the baby is doing well and the mother is too. Yet our role is to stand back, and give the couple and baby the space to share and greet each other. To touch and explore the newness, the softness the perfection. Take a breathe and so will everyone else.

We have begun anew

It is the beginning of autumn and the leaves are changing the world to some amazing colors. Colors that I do love so much. The wind is blowing and the rain is washing all the world of its hard work during spring and summer. Then the earth will rest a season. Midwifery, birth and mothers are like this too. The creation of a tiny human life is like spring. All dressed up and know one can tell yet. Then summer comes and there is time to play with the baby in the belly and to enjoy pregnancy. Then the change of seasons of the wonderful colors bring the change of the life. The baby is born and is full of amazing experiences. The woman must come to her willingness to change and accept the newness of life and the need to scale back and to stay home and to be with her baby. Here baby is asking for the mother to breath and take a pause in her day to sit and marvel at the magnificent being she has welcomed.

As new students have begun the creation of their journey to midwifery they too, you are in a creative time. See that time as moments to reflect on who you are and what life is teaching you. As you meet each new mother who is eagerly anticipating this new life to move and grow within her, be in awe of her excitement and joy. You are growing a new life, "midwife" inside of you. You are nourishing her, loving her and listening to her as she grows. It is a longer gestation than babies. It is a lifetime of learning and listening. Every woman, every baby and every student will teach a midwife something new, only if they are willing to learn. Humility is a main element of a midwife. She must always be willing to learn.

To stay on track with your studies is giving you an increased ability to help women stay on track with their labors. It takes determination even when things are making you question. It takes loving the road and the journey and especially creating it in your mind. Seeing yourself along the path and already finished as well educated, well trained and skilled practitioners.

So as you allow the growth, the change, the beautiful colors emerge may you find joy, excitement and wonderment everyday.